In 1985, a BC student named Suzanne is frustrated that “guys at BC don’t date”. She hasn’t dated anyone at BC during her four years, despite the fact that she is “attractive” and doesn’t “scam” or “scrog” guys at Mary Ann’s Bar (weird brag, Suzzanne).
We hear a lot about “hookup culture”, at BC and beyond. A lot of the blame falls on millennials who don’t know how to date.
This made me wonder about the history of dating at BC and when the hookup culture emerged, or if it has always existed on campus. I took a look into the archives of The Heights, the school newspaper, to find out. (Please note: This article draws upon mostly anecdotal evidence based on what I found in school newspapers and on the web.)
The introduction of new technology, such as the automobile, gave young people more independence from their parents. The modern concept of “dating” was born in the early 1900s and slowly replaced the previous method of “courtship” – which was basically a long audition for marriage, controlled by the couple’s parents. With dating, couples could meet up on their own, without the supervision of their parents. The man would often buy dinner and sometimes gifts for his romantic interest. During this time, BC was only for male students.
A student writes to The Heights to suggest that BC have two proms for people who are dating “two special girls”.
The first full-time undergraduate female students enroll in the Connell School of Nursing. Until this point, BC has been a completely male-only school.
A common complaint is that millennials don’t know how to talk face-to-face, and they text instead. This 1955 advertisement suggests that this behavior may have started before the cell phone was even invented. Looking to date a “cool chick”? Don’t ask her in person! The best way to do it is to telegram her!
1960s – 70s
During the 60s and 70s, attitudes towards dating changed once again – just as they had changed from courtship to dating in the early 1900s. This was likely influenced by the empowerment of women during the Women’s Movement and the introduction of the birth control pill. During this period, young people started to move away from the traditional dating model and toward a more liberal approach to love. For some college students, physical pleasure took precedent over emotional intimacy and the “hookup culture” was born. In the decades to come, BC students would participate in this culture, although there was a growing frustration among many students about a lack of good old-fashioned dating.
Boston College becomes fully co-educational. Women may enroll in any of the College’s schools.
In the 1980s, students suggest that dating culture is severely lacking on campus.
Much like today, John tells her that “bars are not the place to find sincerity.” But where can one find love if not at MA’s?
In an article around Valentine’s day in 1998, a senior student named Jennifer Blakeslee surveyed students about the dating scene. Most BC students replied that there is not a dating scene at BC. Blakeslee writes, “The problem is that a lot of college students just aren’t interested in the art of courtship anymore. A date on Friday night would mean giving up that BC party or going to that favorite bar.”
Jennifer makes the point that “Love is wonderful, but it is a sacrifice… the people who go on dates choose to make the sacrifice.” Jennifer suggests that if BC students want to go on dates, they should stop complaining about the lack of a dating culture and initiate a date themselves. This seems like good advice for us BC students in 2019 as well.
The hookup culture is not a 21st century invention. At Boston College, hookup culture began before most of the current students were ever born. It has arguably existed for as long as BC has been a co-ed school. At one time, in the early 1900s, a more conventional form of dating was probably practiced, but that was not without its flaws either. Even back then, some people still telegrammed instead of talked!
This is not to say that the hook up culture should be dismissed or blindly accepted. Today, on campus, there are couples dating. We get to make a choice whether we accept the culture, or ask that cute girl/ guy out for milkshakes at Cafe Landwer (my personal recommendation for a first date). Other great date ideas can be found on thebostoncalendar.com and The Eagle’s Guide to Boston.
Perhaps what we are missing most is not necessarily dating, but quality time spent with one another. We live such busy lives that it is becoming increasingly difficult to block out time to deepen your connection with someone, especially someone who you don’t know yet.
Asking someone on a date might just be worth the shot. Now if only you had a telegram… then you would be completely irresistible.
*Disclaimer: I do not speak for Boston College’s views on hookup culture, etc. I am just having fun digging into history.*
1. The Heights Archives
3. Time Magazine http://time.com/4337410/history-dating-rituals/